Optimal Recovery

Today I am realizing once again that a crux of my disease is trying to "figure it out." I keep trying to find the meal plan, the nutritionist, the method, etc that will spell the difference between a "botched" body and a "beautiful" one. If I can locate and follow the "perfect plan" to the letter I am assured of supreme confidence and strength, the lean fit physique I yearn for; the plan which will help me to be "that woman" who is proud of her body and trusts her body, who partners with her body for optimal nourishment each day in all aspects: body, mind, spirit, soul. Yet this is an elusive quest. All those various modes of seeking guidance toward healing can be useful however the fallacy comes with equating my physique with the spirit of the woman I want to be. I believe I am called to turn over even this process of trying to figure out what surrender looks like for me. In writing I realize the crux is not so much my desire to "figure it out" but rather the attachment I hold to my physique and how I've equated it with my self-worth.

Resumption of Blogging My Recovery Journey

So at the prompting of many supportive guides in my life I have decided to resume journaling in this public domain my journey of recovery. What is the motivation, the reason, you may ask? It is multivariable, encompassing accountability both in the action of writing and in the intentions stated, a beginning of allowing myself to be known, sharing my journey and what I am learning on the road of recovery, and also a means to try on my Naturopathic cap, to begin to help others find hope and healing. Additionally, blogging is a way for me to write, to exercise that creative muscle, a no longer well-sinewed muscle that yearns to be moved and redeveloped. Simultaneously, it is my Achilles heal. Like many areas in my life, writing is both a deep passion of mine: a source of excitement and joy, of vitality and energy, and at the same time, the source of so much judgement: a breeding ground for shame and fear. So in embarking on this journey of blogging I take a step toward challenging the fear, a step forward in sharing the "Sacred Story" that is my life, filled as it is with all its messiness and beauty. I embrace the risk!

In the content of this blog you may find a variety of things, basically summarized as my insights on my daily life of faith, culture, and medicine living in Seattle as a young Catholic woman.

Thanks for reading and journeying with me. I commit to holding you all in prayer daily.